My Identity.

P.S
Another school blog post.

            An identity, it is an odd thing to talk about. It is used in every single kind of thing in the word now days. People will use the identity that you have to simply categorize you. They will use it to see where you get in life, who you hang out with, how your family treats you, and most general things that people and officials consider 'valuable'.
            So, if we are going to go into my identity, I guess I will have to go through all the tiny bits of my brain to see what the heck am I.
             People would consider me the smart one, the one who knows everything in the world, the one who just stays quiet most of the time, with no other talents or interests other than being smart. That was what I was categorized through my life, even by my family and friends. But, that's not the full story.
             Personalities aren't just one thing, the human brain and how we think work in many different ways. I don't really care about being smart, I just like information. I have too many interests, and that makes up most of my personality. I think, sometimes too much.
             I think about what people will say for my actions.
             I think about theories in my favorite shows.
             I think about what I am going to do with my life.
             I could go on, but everyone thinks. If someone simply is quiet it is because they don't want to hear what people say. As someone who can't handle too much noise, I put on music to block out all the chaos, and make my own chaos, make my own control. An ability that is considered rare, that I try to mimic, is to tell what another person is going to do. I make different paths in my mind about what people do, what they will say, and what I'd do and say to counter it. It makes me seem like a control freak, but it is only so I can never be hurt emotionally, it is best to simply avoid people and friends who you know will not care if you finally broke down from stress.
             That's the thing now days, they believe that if you have a good life, get good grades, have friends and family, that you shouldn't have any troubles. This idea came from how too many kids complain over the smallest of things, causing the ones who really have troubles to feel left out. And, when those same kids talk about serious things that someone goes through everyday like it is a joke, it makes another person not open, and feel left out.
               As you can tell from this, the piece of my identity I am talking about, is depression and anxiety. And, I know my teachers and fellow peers are going to read this, but it is something that has been happening, for a very long time. And, most of my friends don't know about it, I wonder what would happen when they read this. Will they treat me different? Will my teacher treat me different? I hope not, because if you do, that will show me your true colors.
                That is my identity, I am simply a mess of wanting quietness but I want to talk to people. And, most of you aren't going to treat this seriously. But, that's okay. Nothing is really serious, life is a joke, an illusion. Someday we will die, someday the galaxy will be destroyed, the universe destroyed. And, there is nothing we can do about it. So, life is really just an illusion.